Former Premier League referee David Coote has revealed the immense personal struggles he faced throughout his career, which ultimately led to his dismissal from football.
In a candid interview, Coote discussed how the pressures of hiding his sexuality in the “macho world” of football, combined with a relentless schedule and personal loss, led him to turn to cocaine as a means of escape.
The Burden of Living a Double Life
Coote, 42, disclosed that hiding his identity as a gay man deeply affected his mental health. Reflecting on his teenage years, he shared, “I felt a deep sense of shame during my teenage years in particular. I didn’t come out to my parents until I was 21 and to my friends at 25.”
He acknowledged that suppressing his true self was damaging. “My sexuality isn’t the only reason I ended up in this position, but it played a big part. Hiding my emotions and my identity became second nature. It’s a good quality as a referee but a terrible quality as a human being.”
Coote explained that he struggled with self-esteem issues and felt unworthy of acceptance. He admitted that the “macho culture” of football made it even more difficult to come out.
“Adding my sexuality to the abuse we get as referees would have been too much,” he said, emphasizing that discrimination remains a significant issue in football and society at large.
Turning to Cocaine as an Escape
Coote revealed that he turned to cocaine to cope with the immense pressure he faced on and off the field. “It wasn’t something I relied on daily, but it became an escape from the stress and relentlessness of the job,” he admitted.
The referee’s struggles were exacerbated by personal tragedies in 2023, including the sudden death of his mother and his uncle’s diagnosis with motor neurone disease. These events, coupled with an intense work schedule, pushed him to the brink. During the 2023-24 season, Coote officiated over 90 games, including the U17 World Cup in Indonesia, the Euros, and the Olympics. The constant pressure left him with no time to process his emotions, leading him to seek solace in drugs.
Scandals That Rocked His Career
Coote’s career began unraveling after several incidents came to light. In October, he was suspended for calling former Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp a derogatory name. Later, footage emerged of him snorting cocaine during the Euros in Germany. Additionally, Coote was accused of arranging a drug-fueled party during Spurs’ Carabao Cup win over Manchester City.
Further allegations surfaced regarding match-fixing. Coote was accused of issuing a yellow card “to order” during a 2019 game between Leeds United and West Bromwich Albion. However, he denied any wrongdoing, stating, “I went and did my job. The player committed a yellow card tackle.” He acknowledged poor judgment in messaging a friend about the incident but maintained his integrity as a referee.
The Fallout and Road to Recovery
The combination of these scandals ultimately cost Coote his job. Reflecting on his actions, he said, “I’ve made some really poor choices, and I wish I could turn back the clock. But I’ve taken responsibility and sought therapy to address my issues.”
Coote has since kicked his drug habit and is focusing on rebuilding his life. He admitted that the events leading to his dismissal forced him to reevaluate his priorities. “It’s been incredibly tough because I loved the game. I started refereeing at 14, and it was my passion. Losing that was devastating.”
A Message of Hope
Despite the challenges, Coote remains optimistic about the future. He hopes his story will encourage others to seek help if they are struggling. “I put on a hard exterior to survive in football, but it’s okay to be vulnerable. If you’re bottling things up, talk to someone. It’s the only way to heal.”
Coote is determined to use his experience to promote inclusivity and mental health awareness in football. “There’s still a lot of work to be done to combat discrimination and create a safe space for everyone in the game. I hope my story can contribute to that change.”
Looking Ahead
Now focusing on his recovery and personal growth, Coote is spending quality time with family and friends. He believes the time away from football has allowed him to regain perspective. “Knowing my fate has given me the chance to take stock of what truly matters. I’m working on being the best version of myself and moving forward.”
Coote’s journey is a powerful reminder of the importance of mental health, self-acceptance, and seeking support during difficult times. His openness about his struggles highlights the need for greater understanding and compassion, both within football and beyond.
