Model and media personality Nicole Nyaba has opened up about a deeply painful personal journey marked by childhood instability, unresolved family trauma and an ongoing struggle with her mental and emotional well-being. Known publicly for her past relationship with late rapper Kiernan “AKA” Forbes, Nyaba says her story began long before fame, public scrutiny or headlines.
Born in Durban under complicated circumstances, Nyaba describes her earliest days as uncertain and fragile. Her biological mother did not have an identity document at the time of her birth, while her father lived in a different township, leaving her early life shaped by circumstance rather than security. Although she is a South African citizen and carries her father’s surname, her parents were never married, and she grew up moving between two families without ever feeling fully accepted in either.
Belonging to both the Ndlovu and Nyaba households, she explains, never translated into a sense of safety or belonging. While her father played a role in her upbringing, stability remained elusive. Raised mainly in Clermont and Umlazi, Nyaba recalls a childhood dominated by fear, emotional restraint and constant self-policing.
She describes herself as a curious child who was nonetheless deeply afraid of doing something wrong. Over time, she began to recognise that many of her early experiences were abnormal and harmful, though this understanding only came much later in life. That lack of safety followed her into school and adulthood, shaping how she learned, connected with others and viewed herself.
Nyaba says learning was always difficult, not because of a lack of intelligence, but because she was missing a fundamental sense of grounding. She felt disconnected from life and from people, as though something essential had been absent from the start. Within her extended family structures, her pain often went unnoticed or was minimised, reinforcing the idea that her suffering was something she simply had to endure.
One of the most traumatic events in her life was the death of her uncle, Nkosinathi Emmanuel Ndlovu, whose passing was reported as a suicide. Nyaba says the loss left her with unanswered questions and deep emotional scars that affected the entire family. The absence of clarity and closure only compounded the sense of unresolved grief she carried into adulthood.
By late 2024, her mental and emotional state deteriorated significantly. Nyaba describes living in constant fear — of death, of what comes after, and of being emotionally or mentally attacked. She believes years of emotional neglect left her exposed and unprotected, making her vulnerable to harm from people she trusted, including family members, friends and broader community structures.
Her distress became visible to the public in December when she shared a deeply alarming message on social media. In the post, she spoke of suffering in silence for years and explained that she had created a new account because she felt she had nowhere safe to speak. She appealed directly to women’s organisations for help, saying she felt unsafe, alone and as though she was running out of time.
Nyaba says the public reaction to her message highlighted how misunderstood her life has been. Many people, she explains, see isolated moments and assume they know her entire story, without understanding the years of confusion, fear and unanswered questions that shaped her responses and decisions.
While her association with a high-profile figure intensified public scrutiny, Nyaba insists her struggles did not begin with celebrity or romantic relationships. They began in childhood, within the home, in silence and in issues that were never addressed.
Now, as she starts to speak openly, Nyaba says her intention is survival rather than sympathy. She admits that staying silent nearly destroyed her, and that healing has been slow, uneven and emotionally demanding. Some days she feels strong; other days it feels as though she is starting from nothing.
Despite the pain, she says honesty with herself has become a necessary first step. As she continues to rebuild, her hopes are simple: peace, understanding and a life lived without constant fear. For Nyaba, speaking out is not about the past alone, but about reclaiming the chance to move forward.
