Behind the viral TikTok skits, sharp humour and relatable online persona that have made her a household name, South African content creator and podcast host Seemah Mangolwane has revealed a far more painful reality that shaped her life behind the scenes.

In a candid and emotional conversation on episode three of the Not Sorry podcast, produced by Glitch Africa Studios, Mangolwane joined co-hosts Munaka Muthambi, Nomthandazo Nkosi and Rei Nkuna to discuss a topic that resonates with many South Africans but is rarely spoken about openly — the long-lasting effects of childhood verbal abuse and strained relationships between mothers and daughters.

The episode quickly gained traction online as the women shared deeply personal stories about growing up in environments where criticism, harsh language and emotional distance were normalised. Their conversation struck a chord with viewers who recognised similar experiences in their own lives.

For Mangolwane, the discussion became an opportunity to reflect on how her upbringing influenced the way she communicates and views herself today.

“My mother did not let me speak,” she revealed.

Getting deep into how our parents hurt us in this episode

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According to Mangolwane, attempts to express herself as a child were often met with hostility rather than conversation. She recalled being shut down whenever she tried to contribute to discussions, leaving her feeling unheard and unimportant.

“If I were to chime in while she’s speaking, she would shout ‘fok!’” she shared.

The content creator explained that years of being silenced affected her confidence and ability to communicate effectively as an adult.

“I also feel like she had an impact on me not being able to articulate myself well,” she admitted.

As the conversation unfolded, Mangolwane reflected on a painful realization she made later in life. Growing up around constant verbal aggression had influenced her own behaviour, causing her to adopt some of the same communication patterns she once disliked.

She explained that during visits to her grandmother’s home, she began to understand how generational cycles of behaviour can be passed down from one family member to another.

“I understand now why you are like this, but now, you are making me that person,” she said.

The discussion highlighted how children often internalise the environments they grow up in, carrying those experiences into adulthood where they can influence relationships, self-esteem and emotional well-being.

The episode also explored another painful reality: the impact of growing up without praise or validation.

Rei Nkuna opened up about her own experience, revealing that she rarely received encouragement from her parents despite achieving significant milestones.

“Guys, my parents don’t celebrate me at all. They never said they were proud of me,” she shared.

Nkuna recalled receiving a perfect score on an assignment, only to be met with little recognition at home.

Her story sparked a broader conversation about how a lack of parental affirmation can affect a child’s sense of self-worth. Many children who grow up without validation often spend their adult lives seeking approval through achievement, relationships or professional success.

The panel also addressed the controversial topic of corporal punishment and the role it continues to play in many households.

Nkuna spoke about incidents of physical discipline during her childhood, while Nkosi revealed that she had once been beaten with a hosepipe.

Their stories highlighted the connection that can exist between verbal aggression and physical punishment, raising questions about how traditional disciplinary methods impact children long after childhood ends.

Muthambi offered a perspective that generated significant discussion online, suggesting that fathers physically disciplining daughters can have long-term consequences on how young women view relationships and acceptable behaviour from men.

The conversation ultimately expanded beyond individual experiences and examined how childhood environments shape adult relationships.

The hosts discussed how exposure to verbal abuse can affect communication styles, conflict resolution and emotional regulation later in life. Many adults who grew up in hostile households may struggle to express themselves, avoid confrontation entirely or become overly defensive during disagreements.

The episode also touched on the psychological effects of repeated verbal aggression. Mental health experts have long warned that constant criticism, humiliation and shouting can have a lasting impact on a child’s emotional development.

Unlike occasional parental frustration, a sustained pattern of verbal abuse can influence self-esteem, increase anxiety and create negative internal narratives that follow individuals into adulthood.

For many viewers, the honesty displayed by the Not Sorry hosts offered more than just a conversation. It created a space for reflection, healing and acknowledgement of experiences that are often dismissed or normalised within families.

As clips from the episode continue to circulate across social media, many South Africans have praised the women for speaking openly about difficult subjects that affect countless households but are rarely discussed publicly.

The powerful discussion has since sparked widespread conversations about parenting, mental health, emotional healing and the importance of breaking generational cycles of trauma.